Confession…I’m not who you think I am

I have a confession to make – I’m not who you think I am.

Yes, I’m blogger, a mom, wife and more. But, I’m also a person who has made many mistakes, full of flaws and priceless imperfections that would make even the prettiest diamond weep. I have yelled, screamed at and pointed a crooked finger at those I love, ignored others who may have needed a mere hug from me that day. I’ve pouted at God for not answering prayers about problems that I thought needed fixing – sooner rather than later.

I’ve not always been a faithful follower of the faith either, toting around a leather-bound Bible bleeding from yellow highlighter pens. And I have not always been kind, thoughtful or attentive, especially to God’s word.

But then I fell in love, and got involved in a deep relationship.

I had been going through a pretty tough time in life, not exactly sure of where the next road would lead. I was driving towards home on a dark highway one night contemplating it all. Many years prior, I’d already accepted Christ as my Savior, but our relationship was shaky at best. Sure, I’d attended church, bible study and tried to “do good things.” But behind closed doors, I was still angry and making decisions about and doing things not in line with God’s Word and biblical principles.

Then, to my amazement, I began to see God blessing me in remarkable ways; with things I’d prayed about, but never thought would really happen.  A new job promotion came just as I lost my home. A brand new car with only four miles on it seemingly drove itself up into my driveway, despite some pretty disparaging credit. And a woman I’d never met before allowed me to come live in her beautiful home until I could land on solid footing again. I was blessed with a supervisor who I still admire to this day and much more. With food, shelter and work, I was beginning to develop a new respect and relationship with my Lord and Savior, and it grows continually.

I confess that I still struggle, as we all do. But in the years since, I have learned and am still learning to put my faith and trust entirely in God’s hands. I confess to Him when I go wrong, and look to Him for the right direction to take with matters big and small. I am so grateful to be loved by a merciful, gracious and forgiving God, who is shaping and changing me into His purpose for my life.

No, I’m not who you think I am, but I am forever thankful not to be who I once was.

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold all things are become a new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV)